New Mommy Moments...

So, now that I have officially taken on the role of mother, there are several things that I was not anticipating. With a degree in Human Development and Family Studies, and another in nursing, coupled with my time as a pediatric nurse, I considered myself a bit more knowledgeable than the average  new mom. However, theoretical knowledge is only that- theory. What I am talking about here are the practical applications...

The top ten surprises of New Motherhood-

10. Your large and in charge belly doesn't immediately disappear.
- So, I don't know what I thought... that perhaps I'd have the stomach of Jillian Michael's 10 minutes post delivery? Yeah, not even close. My flat tummy still isn't back 6 weeks after delivery. I might need to call Jillian Michaels...

9. Sleeping more than two or three hours at a time is a gift, not a right.
- I'm a nurse. I have worked night shifts. I know sleep deprivation. Plus, I have a thyroid condition. I can handle being tired. But there is very little that prepares you to be up constantly feeding and snuggling a newborn. The walking dead might be a suitable comparison. And when suddenly your baby sleeps 5.5 hours, you still have to get up and pump, plus you worry that your baby is still breathing, or that something is wrong. Well, someday I might sleep again, when my kids are... (my mind quickly scans Benjamin's lifespan) nevermind, I'm never sleeping again.

Benjamin asleep in his crib! What a big boy!

8. Breastfeeding- beautiful, magical, crazy and ouch!
- I love feeding my son- truly. From his first feed, Benjamin has been a stellar little eater. Once I cuaght on- very soon thereafter, nursing seemed to be a cinch. I love the time I get to snuggle him close, and hold his little hand. It fascinates me that my body can provide everything he needs (yet again) to grow and thrive!  Though, a little painful, I was expecting WWIII, the way I have heard people talk. I feel so lucky that breast feeding has come so naturally to me, I know that is not the case for everyone.

7. I have boobs? What?
- Also very surprising, I have boobs! As a small breasted woman, I have never thought much of boobs- until now half my shirts don't fit due to the size of these huge things. Seriously! And, while some women love this "perk" of breast feeding, I could go without leaking breastmilk and being super uncomfortable when Benjamin sleeps for a long time. Thank heavens for breast pumps! I'll be happy when my 'flat as a board' status has been reinstated and I can run, hug my hubby and sleep without boob pain impediment.

6. I have heard of projectile vomit, but projectile poop?
- Yes, this has happened to me. This may not happen to everyone, but my child seems to poop rather violently. Luckily, after careful study, and several Mommy and Benjamin poop-covered episodes, it has been discovered that Benjamin has a poop face. That way, we can prepare for the bombing ahead of time.

5.  Reasonable accommodation is required for motherhood.
- Benjamin loves to be held. It might be the fact that he is so stinking adorable, or maybe that he is a first child, first grandchild, and even a first great grandchild. Perhaps it is that we have had an uncanny number of family events recently, or that I simply want EVERYONE who is dear to me to love my baby, too.  Regardless, Benjamin has been held a great deal in his little life!  And, as a result, he sometimes doesn't want to sleep unless it is in my arms. Now, I love that, because it means he loves me, and I cannot snuggle the little man enough. But, sometimes the house needs to be cleaned, dinner needs to be made, laundry needs to be done, or maybe mommy just needs to walk around. I have found that Benjamin will settle for being toted around in our Ergobaby carrier- thank you to my sister in law who insisted that I only have this one, and bought it for me! But, needless to say, I understand the little schpeel that is given about reasonable accommodation at the start of all of my college classes.

My view of Benjamin's head as he sleeps in the ERGObaby carrier. This day I was trying to make dinner with a fussy baby. No small task.

4.  EVERYTHING my child does is cute. Pictures required.
-  I have become one of those people. I think that my child is hands down the cutest thing in the whole world. I could be crazy, completely duped and horribly wrong. You can agree, lie to me or tell me that I am totally fooled, but the irrational mommy pride is never going to change. And, since my son is so adorable, and so is everything he does, I easily take 5-10 pictures everyday. They are on every electronic device we own with a camera! Thousands of pictures. And, I have to physically restrain myself just about everyday in order to keep myself from inundating Facebook, or the blogging world with images of the same thing over and over. So, I apologize if you are tired of seeing my kid. I'm not. And, I don't think I ever will be.  Ah, well, at least I love my baby, right?

Just a few examples of the aforementioned obsession...

Deep thoughts by Benjamin Buley.

His best no-neck football pose. Prepping for the future, no doubt. 

He is related to the Webb clan, after all.

"Playing" in the bath. He loves the bath. This is a G-rated pic, we have the full monty as well.

Cool dude, Ben. He was pretty entertained while wearing mommy's sunglasses.

Benjamin's Baby Power pose in his sleep. The kid has some strong views already.

His Mister Monkey Pants look.
(The pants actually have a monkey on the bum).

Check out that smile.

3.  My vocabulary has changed just a little.
-  So, before Benjamin came, I told Ken explicitly that I didn't think that I could be called "mommy." I thought I was a little too cool for that. Well, I officially eat those words. I am mommy! Completely and utterly Mommy! And I have a million nicknames for my son: Benjamin Bear, Benjamin Bunny, Bubba, Bebby, Goober, Stinkypants, Pooperhead, Monkey, Monkeypants, Buster, and I'm sure the list will go on. I find myself oogling and googling over my son just about every minute. I say things like, "Can you smile for momma, Ben Bear?," and "Oh, you so cute, Pooperpants Buley."  Yep, two bachelor's degrees, and I am resorting to baby talk. I find some vindication in the fact that Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) addressed this concept in one of her books, stating that she basically couldn't help but gush over her son. I also narrate everything I do for his sake, I tell him that mommy is going to do the laundry, change his diaper, etc.  I consider myself decently intelligent, and I even speak another language, but when it comes to Benjamin, I am a normal mommy, and I oogle and google with the best of mothers everywhere- even sometimes in Hungarian.

2.  Baby gear is awesome, anId invading...
- Well, we are officially baby central.  In every room of our apartment, on just about every surface, and seemingly in every nook and cranny there are baby things. Baby has conquered all of our space. We trip over the bouncer, the burp cloths and binkies are scattered all around, the baby seat is a permanent fixture of our living room. And, in addition, there are a million more baby things to buy! We have three beds for our son- his crib, a pack and play, and a co-sleeper.  The kid has more blankets than I can count (not kidding, I lost track after like 20).  His clothes are innumerable as well.  It's mind-blowing how much stuff we have accumulated, and Benjamin isn't even two months old!

1.  I love my son so completely, so totally and so unconditionally.
-  A friend of mine asked me recently what was my biggest adjustment to motherhood. I racked my brain, and could think of nothing. I have been pretty lucky, in that I seem to have adjusted rather well so far (give me time, that could change). It did take me a few weeks to disengage from work, and I m still realizing that Ken and I are completely consumed with Benjamin, and we have lost the cool couple factor that is innate when you are childless. But I have not yet felt like motherhood is anything but awesome. And, I want to convey my sincerity here, because while I tend to try to be optimistic, I am very realistic, and I'd communicate the reality. And this is it.

What has really shocked me, though, is how instantly I was completely in love with my son. Really. I felt almost immediately the love that Heavenly Father has for him, coupled with my own love. It has been so surreal, there is truly nothing to compare it to. I can only describe it as though I had known this little soul before this life. On my mission, I had a similar experience. I had one area that I knew I was called before this life to serve in. I'd turn a corner, teach a lesson, and meet people, and it was all so familiar, like I had done it before. Very deja-vu- esc.

But this is more intense. I cannot help but feel as though I was called before this life to be Ben's mom. And I am so very honored to have been sent a beautiful, innocent little man to raise, and teach about his Heavenly Father. I am a little overwhelmed when I consider what the role of mother means: it is my job to teach my son, to help him be a good man, and to give him all the tools that he can know for himself the truth, and to return to His Heavenly Father to live. I'm truly humbled to think that Heavenly Father has entrusted his son to Ken and I's care. I have never really been more aware of the principle of eternal families. I cannot express my gratitude, or my wonder at the idea that our Father loved us so much that He gave us the option of being with those we love forever. I never want to be parted from Benjamin or Ken, and I know how I can through obedience to the commandments of God, and special temple ordinances.

Benjamin loves to go to church already!

 Look at that smile. Melts my heart, every time.

So, the most surprising thing about being a new mommy, is that I feel like I was born to be one. Because I was.