Tender Mercy: Happy Marraige

Well, it is apparent to those who have read my blog, the few that there are, that I have not yet mastered the art of blogging regularly. But today, something happened that I find I need to record, and write about. This is totally for me, so for those of you that read this, I am going to get a little personal, but I feel that it is one of those necessary and very healing introspective times that my sweet mother in law and I chatted about recently.

We moved into our new ward about 2 and a half months ago, and we have loved it. Some of you know that our last ward was fantastic, but it took us a while to acclimate ourselves to the general climate. I have been a little cautious (though not too cautious- if you know me, I'm rarely too cautious) about getting to know people, and putting down too many roots. I have especially been sort of aloof, since I don't always feel great and sometimes miss meetings here or there. I just haven't tried too hard yet in this ward. I think I want the integration to be more natural, but at any rate, I am still getting to know people, which is fun.

But, today I was sitting in Sunday School, and the instructor came up and started to ask me a few questions about myself, and asked me to say the prayer. Of course I told her I would, but then she really surprised me with what came next. She told me that a few weeks earlier, she had sat behind my husband and I in Sacrament meeting. She proceeded then to tell me that she had noticed that I really seemed to share my smiles with my husband, and that he also, liked to smile at me.  Her observation of our interaction was that we are very much in love, and that to her, this was a very refreshing display. I knew (from attending her Gospel Doctrine class several times) that she was a mental health provider of some kind, and when I asked her what she did, she told me that she is a marriage therapist. I was a little overwhelmed at this revelation, and I thanked her for such high praise, as I am certain that she often sees otherwise in her profession.

This experience struck a chord in me, as I realized what it really meant to me to hear someone (and a trained someone at that) notice that my husband and I really do cherish each other. For those of you who know me, or know what life has dealt me, you are aware that this kind of happiness has not always been my lot. I have so many blessings that I cannot number them, but I am not a stranger to hardship, emotional turmoil and self doubt. I spent many years wondering if I was capable of having a healthy marriage, let alone a happy one. I got a degree in Human Development and Family Studies, sometimes simply hoping that the theories and views of the world would bolster my faith to do what I feared I wasn't capable of. I dated quite a bit, and found that not only was I a hard pill to swallow, my expectations always seemed too high. It was a lonely and heartrending road for me.

Through this journey, one ray of gleaming light that truly kept me going in faith, were the words of my patriarchal blessing. I distinctly remember leaving the patriarch's home with my parents, and my 16 year old mind was trying to make some sense of all I had heard when my mother made a very poignant comment that I will never forget. She said "Wow, Andrea. Your husband loves you very much." In the years that ensued, I would cling to the words of my Heavenly Father who promised me a happy marriage and family, and as my mom noted, a husband who really loves me.

I waited a bit longer than most in our culture to find my dear husband, and I hated every minute of that struggle, but I am also incredibly grateful that I found him, and when that happened we had some maturity and age to our credit when we made the decision to be sealed together for time and all eternity.  And, we ARE very happy, mostly thanks to my very patient, incredibly loving and goofy husband, and in spite of my high strung, stubborn and perfectionist nature.

All these things came rushing back to me today, as a perfect stranger told me that she was impressed at how my husband and I seemed to really love and enjoy one another. I have been so richly blessed to have such a man in my life. And though our Sunday School teacher can't see the disagreements, the hurt feelings or the silly arguments that happen in our home, she can see that even though we are normal, we do really love each other.

Note: Just before this set of pictures was taken, Ken and I had had a massive argument (about what I cannot even remember). We had even talked about not getting married. I still remember the photographer (my dear friend Joanna) telling me that she could tell we were totally in love. I guess we still have it, thankfully.

I am so very grateful for that simple comment. Today, of all days, on the eve of welcoming our newborn son (any day now, baby, you can make your appearance), it gives me hope, strength, confidence and faith that if we continue to Love our Father in Heaven, do what He has asked us, and continue to cherish each other, that we can be the family that I have always dreamed of, the happy family I was promised on that day, almost thirteen years ago when I received my patriarchal blessing. The years will bring hardships, more children, many trials and more perspective, but I hope I can cling to this little tender mercy, and continue with joy and happiness in my marraige and my journey.